A. 英语幽默短文 带图片
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
B. 谁有QQ表情~超搞笑的
你好
最新QQ表情字体下载 QQ最新表情
QQ表情图片
粤语常用中文
POPO表情
圆头小子
3D表情(大)
尖头小人
闪动文字
QQ搞笑表情1
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手机搞笑图片1
小破孩的爱情
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QQ表情:卡通人物
蜡笔小新 卡通MM表情 阿呆妮妮正南小新 十二星座 星座美女
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QQ表情:卡通动物
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快乐西游 可爱猫猫 流氓兔大家族 搞笑小猪猪 鸭子
泡泡堂 Q版熊猫 流氓兔兔全集 可爱小锚 MQ_小鸡系列
胖猪猪系列(全) 最新包子表情(共51个) 搜q动画表情 可爱的牛牛表情10个 QQ堂最炫宠物酷比
QQ表情:搞笑图片
QGG宠物炫表情 搞笑原版QQ表情 QQ套装 QQ魔法表情 50个常用搞笑表情
MR.Pig 搞笑街霸 “小鸡鸡”的烦恼 水晶QQ表情秀 PP系列
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搞怪小鸡 QQ表情大全 Chinaren表情 警告窗口 真人系列
飘过路过系列 RO表情 可爱包子系列 QQ搞笑图片 猪猪搞笑
QQ表情:其他类别
小鸡气象台 骂人QQ表情 国产007 球队队标 精装版QQ表情
卡通跑车 MQ_黄脸系列 MQ_气球系列 MQ_非典系列 暴力打人系列
大话西游QQ表情 我爱你系列 再见拜拜系列 影视贴图 CS图片
历届奥运会吉祥物 世界国旗(26C) 欧洲杯16球队小队服 奔驰系列 合适女生的22款
http://www.qqjia.com/learn/biaoqing.htm
C. 搞笑图片库用英语怎么说
搞笑图片库_有道翻译
翻译结果:
Funny photo gallery
photo
英 ['fəʊtəʊ]
美 ['foto]
n. 照片
Photo 照片,作品,相册
photo album 写真集,相册,相簿
Photo Kano 恋曲写真,写真女友,英文名称
D. 你见过哪些印在衣服上的让人“笑趴”的英文
平时走在大街上,可以看到很多人的衣服上都印着一些英文,看上去很有文化的样子,至于那些英文是啥意思,穿衣服的人可能并不懂,只是觉得挺洋气,其他的人也很少去注意这些英文的意思。最近,有个外国朋友跟我交谈的时候说到一些他看到的国人身上穿的衣服上的英文句子,感到本不能理解甚至好笑。他也拍下了一些图片,让我看看,真是不看不知道,一看笑掉牙,这设计师也是太坑了,看来没点文化还真不能乱穿那些印有莫名其妙的英文的衣服,否则容易闹笑话。
大妈一看就很霸气,有性格,这衣服也这么有性格,款式啥的倒没什么,就是这衣服上的单词颇值得研究一下,“放屁,性感,风格”,这是怎样的搭配?“放屁”和“性感”有啥联系?还是就是这样混搭的“风格”?大妈估计是不懂,觉得胡里花哨挺好看的,要知道是这么几个单词,肯定不会穿着上街了。
以后买这种带有英文的衣服还真得看清楚了,实在不行翻一下英汉词典,查一查,否则让老外看到了,还不把人家乐坏了?学习英文还是有必要呀。
E. 求英文熊猫君表情包,那种下面带汉字和英文的搞笑图
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最全文件上传到附件里面了!
请您下载文件后,
点击本回答下方“选为满意答案”的按钮!
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F. 求金馆长恶搞英文熊猫君表情,就是那种下面带汉字和英文的搞笑图片
楼主你好,已发送,如满意记得采纳哦o(∩_∩)o
找不到请检查垃圾箱及广告邮件等
如未收到或者无法使用请【追问或hi我】
我会第一时间处理,谢谢~
.............................................................................
◇开到荼縻◇团丶Mr_Jave
◇开到荼縻◇Tumiteam 期待各位高手加入
G. 我需要一张关于英文切蛋糕算术的搞笑图片
在公众场合 公然嘲笑自己的好朋友 这可不是为朋友之道呵 本来是一件让大家开心的好事情 可是玩笑开的过火就会变成坏事情
很有可能你会说 我们是好朋友 他不会介意的 ——但是事情真的是这样的么?如果是对方把你最糗的事情公开拿出来嘲笑的话 你心里又会怎么想呢?虽然表面上可能未必发作 但是心里大概也不会很舒服吧 也许还会因此和这个朋友生分 甚至从此不再是朋友 。。。。
因此 我建议你再好好的想一想 这样做的话 真的好么?
H. 熊猫君表情,带中英文的那种搞笑图片
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最全文件上传到附件里面了!
请您下载文件后,
点击本回答下方“选为满意答案”的按钮!
下载地址:
求采纳为满意回答。
I. 灰姑娘的英文搞笑版
白 :Long ago, there lived a girl. Her mather had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters. They are so bad as their mother. The poor girl had to work day and night. She must sleep in the kitchen. She weared drity clothes. All of them called her cinders for Cinderella. However, we’ll show you a different play today.
(灰姑娘昂首挺胸帅气十足地上场)
旁白 :She is so strong, and smart. Especially she is good at sport.
Now, she is running for the 100 meter race.(灰姑娘冲刺,旁边老师读秒:11’9)
Now, she is playing basketball.(灰姑娘以一敌众,轻松灌篮)
Now,she is practicing Chinese gongfu(灰姑娘打拳,对手倒)
This is her----Cinderella
灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish?
旁白 :Ok(结巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can’t escape the poor life, Why? That is-----
继母(假装洗衣服) :How cold the water! I’m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful.
(灰姑娘默,从继母手中拿过洗衣盆)
(一姐将盆碗碰得乱响.灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过盆碗)
(一姐手持针线缝衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过衣服)
第一幕
(灰姑娘在帮后母按摩肩膀)
二姐(奔入,扬动手中传单) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets. I got them on the street.
The King is having a party. The Prince will look for a wife.
一姐(托腮) :I must be choosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world.
二姐(凭空跳舞) :No, Not you. I have the charming shape, I am the Queen.
(两姐争吵起来,继母从女儿手中拿过传单,亲吻)
继母 :Oh, baby. Stop. You two are the most beautiful girls in our country. He will probably choose one of you. Come on , make up yourself. We haven’t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing? Come here, help your sisters!
灰姑娘 :OK, I will. But, mom, can I go to the party tonight? I want to ------
(三人敛神)
一姐 :Oh, my God! I forgot Tim’s homework. He gave us a lot of homework.. I can’t finish, what should I do ?
二姐(拿书,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes. Look, execise A, excise B, excise C, excise D, excise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, study plan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh, my party! My Prince! My happyness! and the country’s future!
灰姑娘(慌乱,安慰) :My sisters, don't cry! I always do the homework for you, of course tonight!
(母女三人一通忙乱后) : Goodbye, our lively girl!
第二幕
(魔女骑着一把几乎掉光了的扫把登场)
旁白 :Oh, 哈里波特!
(魔女撞到灰姑娘)
灰姑娘(怒) :Who are you ?
魔女(得意) :I am the best witch, and the most beautiful witch. I can give you all the thing you wish.
灰姑娘 : Really? Do you kown King’s party? I want to go, but------(低头看自己的破衣服)
魔女(大笑) :Don’t worry. It is easy for me! Look, clothes, shose,car-----
灰姑娘(面露欣喜,扑向鞋子) :Oh, how beautiful glass shoses!
魔女 :Wear it, and go !
第三幕
(富丽堂皇的大厅里,音乐飘扬,人声鼎沸.女士们翘首以待)
侍卫(击杖) :Welcome the Prince.
(鼓掌,欢呼)
国王(严肃) : Please be quiet! As everybody knows, today I will chooes a beautiful, slim, homorous, and long hair girl for my son----(转身,指向王子),handsome, strong, tall, and brave!
(王子做害羞状)
众女士 :How lively! How handsome! (做陶醉状,冲向前,将王子团团围住)
(此时,飞出一女,持扇 “杀出一条血路”)
(王子与灰姑娘共舞,突然手机铃声响起)
王子 :Who’s phone?
灰姑娘 :Oh, it’s my phone!(掏手机边跳舞,边接电话) This is Cinderella, speaking!
魔女 :It 12’clock, game will be over, come back quickly!Or you’ll change back!(开始敲钟)
灰姑娘 :Oh, I must go!(慌忙中跑,掉了一只鞋)
王子(检起鞋,追) :Wait! You forget give me you name, and you phone number!
王子(注视姑娘远去,悲情) :I’ve lost her!
第四幕
旁白 : Since the party, Prince fall in love with Cinderella, the Prince decided to look for the mysterious girl. He issued a proclamation, “Whoever the glass shoe fits, shall be wife to the Prince!”
(王子带着士兵到处找人试鞋)
士兵 :Please try the shoe!(女士甲试鞋) Oh, your foot is too big!
士兵 :Please try the shoe!(女士乙试鞋) Oh, my God, what a terrible smell! Of coures not you !
旁白 :A t lat, the Prince come to Cinderella ‘s home.
(两姐站在门口,花痴状) :Oh, the Prince is coming, he is so handsome! He is so cool!
士兵(拿着鞋) :Please try the galss shoe.
(两姐妹正抢): Oh, it is my shoe! ------Oh, it is my shoe!
(士兵夺过鞋,递给大姐): You first!(大姐拿过鞋,却怎么也穿不进去)
士兵 : Stop doing that. You foot is too long, you will break the shoe!
二姐(得意) :I said, it is my shoe.(抢过鞋,试穿,费了九牛二虎之力终于穿上,走开来)
二姐 : ****, too small!(甩掉鞋,蹲下揉脚,鞋飞到灰姑娘身上)
继母(怒吼) : Why are you here? Back to kitchen! Wash the dishes!
士兵 : Wait! Every girl must try !
继母 : She is drity! It is couldn’t be her!(灰姑娘默,轻松的穿上了鞋)
王子(欢呼) :Oh, it fits! I found you !(王子和灰姑娘拥在一起)
旁白 :The Prince was delighted to found her, and on a bright sunny day, he and Cinderella were merried. They lived happily ever after!
J. 世界上最搞笑的图片
Proud Of You
Love in your eyes
Sitting silent by my side
Going on Holding hand
Walking through the nights
*Hold me up Hold me tight
Lift me up to touch the sky
Teaching me to love with heart
Helping me open my mind
I can fly
I\'m proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
Till the end of the time
net me I can fly
I\'m proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
The heaven in the sky*
Stars in the sky
Wishing once upon a time
Give me love Make me smile
Till the end of life
Repeat *
Can\'t you net that you light up my way
No matter how that ease my path
I\'ll never lose my faith
See me fly
I\'m proud to fly up high
Show you the best of mine
Till the end of the time
net me I can fly
I\'m singing in the sky
Show you the best of mine
The heaven in the sky
Nothing can stop me
Spread my wings so wide